When to have second baby reddit

When to have second baby reddit. • 5 yr. People are bloated at times other than pregnancy. So, in theory you would next take over your son's first child. Posts are moderated for respect, equanimity, grace, and relevance. With the second baby there is still guilt about the new baby not getting their own special outfits, so I wouldn't rule out a new outfit (source: my own guilt with second baby). He has had a delightful personality from day one. ago. You could have a second and they come out perfect. I think this has actually worked out better than a 2 year age gap, oldest is more independent and really wants to be helpful, and also has more of the vocab 34 votes, 20 comments. 5 (boy, girl, boy). We were together for a while and were older than you when we decided. And I love my second kid, but the truth is, I feel I was a better mom when I only had 1. With an age gap like that, I don't think it's embarrassing. Depends - our first one had colic which caused a severe lack of sleep which almost destroyed our marriage. At the end of the day it’s totally up to you - 22 would have been the completely wrong time for me to have a baby, but then again so would 28. Edit: there were definitely perks to being an only child, but I personally felt overwhelmed a lot as a kid due to it. 5 years later) was pie. Baby #2 is now 4 and would gleefully throw me off a cliff to save his dad, and vice versa. We wanted our daughter to be able to have someone to grow up with. You see how they are their own little unique people. Our daughter has fantastic communication skills, loves helping and will have a greater understanding. I do recommend waiting a bit longer. Breastmilk storage bags. I had c-section and worry that maybe scar tissue is causing a problem. They have been divorced for like 40 years, but still. Give birth, next day home. There’s nothing wrong with deciding you only want one child. Sometimes the bond takes a little while to grow, and that's okay. Loving your second child less is not a permanent state of being. Most clothes assuming same sex (not finding out) Bottle sterilizer/dryer, pump and pump parts. even when you have great kids. Bc everyone is telling me you have no time on baby #2. She couldn't walk, eat, move, nothing, it felt like death. I gave birth after like 4 hours v like 24 hours with number 1 Reply. This is when they are learning everything and I find it easier to help her. Carriers. I have a 13 month old - I developed very late onset pre eclampsia that I was induced quickly into labor around week 40. GreatEagle May 1, 2021 @ 11:25am. Never regretted it for a second. lia1tan. [deleted] • 9 yr. The thing is we were trying to wait till we were a lot more financially stable. The We max out the dependent care FSA every year, but we still spend more than that with 2 kids in part time daycare. 1. Portable sound machine. So then it’s easier. Seek out support from others and help from a mental health professional when necessary. It’s definitely some of both. #4. Having the third kid was a big discussion and involved some arguing and extensive discussions. Like another commenter said, many doctors recommend to wait 18 months before another pregnancy (especially if you’ve had a C-section). Originally posted by GoldiRie: Only the first child is the heir. 3rd child (1 year later) was challenging as we had 2 in diapers but not exceptionally so. Reply reply. And the 2nd comes out much faster than the first. Labor pretty standard, I think. Diligent-Pin2542. It comes down to money, space, child care arrangements and your want to do it. Pacifiers, in case this baby actually likes them A little background: I have a five-year-old boy, husband has two adult children. Wife wants another baby. Second was induced at 40 weeks 1 day and couldn’t have been easier. . I also needed a second baby seat, since my daughter still fits into the same one we used as a baby, but managed to get hand me downs there from a reliable stickaforkimdone. I have my first baby, who came in May, and planning to have at least one more. ” I have brought up things like adoption, a second pet, whatever ways we can add to our family without something as big as adding another child. Your wife needs reassurance and support, but that doesn't mean you repeat what happened duirng the birth of your first baby. Watching tonight’s episode I’ve realised that I remember pretty much nothing of all the past seasons, but I can’t find much about this online. Whether your child will be better off with or without a sibling completely depends on a) the parenting and b) fate. That thought helps me sleep at night. You get out of the diaper phase, and hallelujah. I bought most of my own stuff or made arrangements for family to get certain things, then had a shower with friends at 35+3 and it was perfect. I was pregnant at 26 with my first and had him at 27 got pregnant at 28 with my second and had her at 29. Oct 14, 2023 · While pregnancy after 35 can have a higher risk of certain complications, most people will have smooth pregnancies and healthy babies. I wouldn't worry about it. Just looking for other people that took a long time getting pregnant with the second child. And you have to trust his assessment. 5 when baby is born. Ok makes sense. I don't think there's any way to make sure you have a girl, but if you make your sim eat strawberries and listen to pop music, it helps the chances. There’s no possibility of changing hours in my current role as I have to be there until 10 to close the store. ty Goldie :) #5. Both big surprises, wasn’t supposed to be able to happen. Pregnancies relatively easy, though I was tired (of course). 😊. You will love your second child just as much. Basically the title. His newborn days were a dream. It’s harder when they are young and easier when they are older. And I think that your kid having a happy mom is way more important than a sibling. We have a 3 yesr age gap, and originally I wanted about a 2 year gap, but when the pandemic hit I got really nervous about having a baby that year, so we held off until we were vaccinated. Burp cloths. Now, you need to have a discussion with your partner. Another waterproof mattress pad set (fitted and flat) so we have three (one for toddler bed, one for crib, one spare set) Another crib mattress (using the old one in the toddler bed) Diapers, wipes, baby shampoo. Building your confidence as a Are you really paying your bills if you can’t afford medical/dental for your child? Hopefully baby daddy at least will get a real job so his kid can have health insurance. I have a good secure career with no chance of changing. I’ve managed to EBF in spite of working… And it doesn't matter. kausarcana. Cause 2nd time around you are more efficient and know what your doing and worry less about things that aren't actually that important. Mar 10, 2023 · A second child is a major change in your life and will require adjustments. First kid is Always the hardest. 2 years later a baby girl and another shower. youth, money, supportive partner -- you get to pick no more than 2, but sometimes people get all judgey if you don't have all 3. And odds are as they grow, there will be times when it is easier to love one more than another. And my wife is a stay at home mom that works from home for just a little money. babies come along, you already have those things. alpacabewbs. Very curious from those who’ve been through it which season and/or month you think is best. My wife and I have a 21 month old toddler. Plus they would be heading off to school and you don't have them all day. I’m pregnant with my second and would have a shower if I felt like I needed a lot, but I really don’t need much so we’ll probably pass. Our dentist recommended we see an orthodontist for my 7yo's teeth. 💖 A thought that may not have occurred to you… some day when you and hubby aren’t here anymore (and some day, sadly, you won’t be), your kids are going to be the ones who look out for each other the rest of the way. Having a second makes you love the first even more. Sea5115. I know your husband wants to decide soon, but waiting another 9-12 months is not a huge difference vs waiting 6 months for him, but it’s a huge difference in your physical capabilities. I just have to keep reminding me of that. I'm currently 4 months pregnant with my second, first just turned 1. I got back down to 134lbs, but my shape had changed. So for a while your work will be double. In general, kids gets easier as they get older, at least in the sense of demand of your constant attention. But I’m scared. Starting trying at 27, got pregnant at 28 Second baby- cycle #4, age 30 Third baby- cycle #4 , age 34 Just need to vent. For reference: my first baby cost $8k and second baby cost $4K (for both mom and baby, uncomplicated vaginal deliveries). Two kids are actually not twice the the work as one, oddly enough. However, comparing the two, the second time was way worse. You don't want two kids in nappies and, depending on where in the world you are, you might not want two kids in childcare because of cost. Remember that. I was always ‘one and done’ before even getting pregnant but nothing solidified it like the trauma of my experience in labor+delivery and the subsequent postpartum anxiety/depression that Thank you! I think I'm also fearful of the toddler/newborn stage, which will surely be overwhelming but obviously not forever. You’ll also need things like diapers and wipes, burp cloths, and probably some new baby blankets/swaddles. Or you have a second and it totally destroys your happy little family. I always said that we will start having a second child - mixed feelings! I have no doubt that I want more than one child, and it’s a good thing because I just took a test this morning and it was positive, ha! I’m so excited to have another child but as soon as I saw the positive line, I had this instant sinking feeling of “omg, I have to go through pregnancy, labor, and There may be a better sub for this, but I couldn't find anything. Our 10 month old is amazing. •. The youngest are still 2 and 9 months but my two oldest are 6 and 4. If your husband is telling you he doesn't want a second child, it likely means he can't be the kind of parent he wants to be, with two. He says that he’s ready and just waiting for my decision to start trying. We've been trying for almost a year now and it's getting a bit discouraging since it only took 3 months the first time. Then at 6 months she started seeing flashing lights that weren't there and they induced labor because apparently I was killing her. We might be at the end. Why would a second child be 4x the work. I don't. Angiemonsterboo. I want to have another child ( always wanted 2 kids ) and i have had multiple discussions with my husband but he doesn’t seem to want more. Maybe he'll change his mind, but maybe he won't. Years later she gets pregnant with me. Award. It’s a kind of pointless question. I know this isn't the case with you, but especially if you were one and done and the second baby was a surprise and you kept nothing from the first. In season 5 (I think) Ada starts seeing a black man called Ben. I feel like having a baby in the modern world is like. Before getting married we decided we would be happy whether we chose to have another child or not. We are expecting our second this year but from everything I’ve heard from everyone around me who has multiple kids is that while 1-2 is a big adjustment, 0-1 was the most stressful because you have no experience raising your own child and you have the largest adjustment to change of life. If women have anatomical changes at this point, it is bloating. A second baby is another human being, that I will be responsible for again, with his/her own set of personality traits. Or share my thoughts, maybe someone feels the same way. Siblings can be great and valuable - that's absolutely true. Some have a small gap, 2 years, others have a larger gap 3-4 years. I decided to have a second child because my first was so easy to take care but my second son broke me down the 1st week he was home. My most recent second baby shower experience was my SIL who had a virtual baby shower and she and her husband make well over six figures, yet they still had a large baby registry and gifts seemed highly expected. Still doesn’t help her first daughter though. I have no desire to start over, particularly the older I get; I Just looking for anyone with insight about working second shift (afternoons/evenings) with a baby/small child. Enough to pay a bill or two a month. • 2 yr. I'm also worried if the transfer doesn't work, it is the last attempt we have to ever I think it’s fine! Baby gear was totally different 7 years ago (so many recalls and safety things!), and even if the baby is the same sex, clothing styles have changed a lot too. It then developed to post partum eclmapsia and landed me in the hospital for a week. Health & Development. My Pediatrician recommended us do some genetic testing on our ASD Son to have a better idea of cause/chances for 2nd kid like u said. To be honest, I was scared to death about how hard it was going to be with a A 2nd baby shower is considered tacky. I’m due to have my first baby in February and I’m currently an evening manager at a grocery store, so I work 1-10. My husband (29M) and I (28F) was talking about having a baby for a few months now. I'm also worried if the transfer doesn't work, it is the last attempt we have to ever DuhBearsGuy. Around 4 to 5 is when toddler doesn't need parent around them 24/7. I know hes not going to agree and i have been telling myself to make peace with the situation but i still feel like something is missing and im scared il regret it later when its too late to get After having a baby with him, I thought okay yeah this is new for the both of us so it'll take time adjusting. Im pregnant now, my daughter will be 3. There is nothing to show at 6-8 weeks. Having a second is like suddenly getting another dozen (roughly) of kids. Having HAD to wait and then taking a while for it to happen, im glad. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself. We are a welcoming subreddit and support the rights of all genders. Husband and I definitely want to have a second baby (and maybe a 3rd) but are debating when would be the best time for us and our LO. When they are older, they play together, and the older one helps teach or take care of the younger one. Actually, the second child is actually easier, as you have already been broken in as a parent. Second child (2. We both feel that we would rather regret not having a second than have a second and regret it. Traditionally, the purpose of the first one is to get all of your necessities (crib, change table, bath tub, bouncy chair and swing, etc. I have no regrets about having a second child, she’s the best thing I could have done for my son, he loves her more than I could have hoped. That's where a good friend or relative comes in. Please read Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st and new posts at r/ModCord or r/Save3rdPartyApps for up-to-date information. Because this is just the first of two phases, she'd still need braces again as a teenager. 5 and they are absolute best friends (and have been since my second child was like 6 months old). I (40m) and my wife (36f) have a three-year-old. And both want another baby. 2. Ended up taking a few years for us to conceive and now have a beautiful baby boy who's 6 months old. I’ll be totally honest, there are more times than not that I regret having a second. It really wouldn't. Everything that worked with my first child didn’t work with my second, including discipline! Although it was hard I wouldn’t have changed that decision. From the first trimester I made her so sick she was hospitalized at month 3. ) and then when the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc. And, yes, we’d both like to have some time for ourselves. I agree that sometimes a second shower can come off as tacky or gift grabby as many comments mentioned. Husband is approaching 50, I still have time so I'm not worried about my clock as much as his. I miss life with just my one kid. But on the flip side you have a toddler as well so all in all it seems to all cancel out and the second felt as hard as the first. Sometimes the second parent works 100% to pay the bills, and none of it contributes to the bottom line. 5 years old wonderful son. 5. The overall average is 10-30%. Instead of a full shower, I think it's much more socially acceptable to do a baby "sprinkle" where gifts are not necessary or do a diaper shower where everyone brings a pack of diapers. 8. There was definitely a period of time where I only planned to have one, so don’t feel pressured to decide what you want to do right this moment. Baby is smaller than a blueberry. If you're not then I'd wait until more like 34+. Once you have kids, it becomes really hard to travel. When they should start growing into their own personality more. From my experience I would go for a gap of 3-4 years. Each set are exactly 16 months apart. About 80% of women age 35-39 will conceive within a year. Hey guys I am 30F, have 1. We don’t want to take any of our time or attention away from our daughter. It's not really about his birthday, it's about all her kids who are spread around the country being in one place and not a single one thinking to pull her out of the home and wheel her to see her kids and grandkids. As for every 100 successes you’ll find 100 regrets. I have four kids. It may look different than the all consuming adoration you had for your first, but that might be good (for all of you). They barely ever argue or fight and just play and entertain each other all day. Sometimes a second child means you aren't able to parent either the way that you want to. Women who waited until their 30's to have kids. 3. You also want the kid old enough not to just wallop their baby sibling on impulse without warning. I didn't show until around 14 weeks but everyone's body is different and will show at different times. I had slight nausea with my second but otherwise easy… just uncomfortable at the end. Personally I didn't find the second newborn phase to be all that much worse than the first, juggling 2 kids has never been as hard as I imagined, pregnancy with a toddler on the other hand was awful 😂 The baby gets their own deductible and OOP once born, so plan on that as well. I adjusted and he never did, it's been 10 months now and uhhh I do 95% of everything and I love my daughter so much but I don't want to have another baby with him. But we do NOT want another one. 11. I think this has actually worked out better than a 2 year age gap, oldest is more independent and really wants to be helpful, and also has more of the vocab For most people it just starts taking a little longer in the mid- to late-30s: with the exception of some cases on the margins, it's not like two years makes the difference between having kids and not having them period. We have three great kids, ages 9, 6 and 1. A little background: I have a five-year-old boy, husband has two adult children. Me and my husband have full time jobs and raising our son with help of a… How long did it take you to have your second baby from when you started getting contractions? I am 1 cm dilated, due in 2 weeks technically, and a little terrified that if I go to my cousins wedding tomorrow which is 40 minutes from the hospital that I’m going to give birth in the car. However having a 2nd child for the primary purpose of giving your kid a sibling is not a good idea. So…. I'm scared for a couple of reasons, the main one is I don't know if I will love the second child as much as I love our first. Both were easy pregnancies. We don’t want to raise a newborn on “hard mode” by also having to take care of a toddler. It was a whole storyline because obviously having a mixed race baby at the time was not common. Fortunately, we were quickly and easily able to get a second and First baby- I was going off hormonal BC and it was a shit show, so 11 months (eventually got diagnosed with postpill hypothyrodism, took medication and got pregnant a month later). He was a ball of fury, even now. I am 36 years old and adore my baby girl, earlier for me would be better as I already feel a bit late to start a family and worried about how much time I have left (no offense to anyone, just stating how I few). ADMIN MOD. More recently however, he has shown an increased interest. I'm afraid I won't give our first child the attention she needs when a newborn comes along. She gets pregnant with his baby. . Kiddo has tons of playdates, goes to daycare and we recently got a puppy to join the family. But it’s totally up to you! 25 is still a great age for fertility, and your energy will be higher. Only one or two pairs of my pre-pregnancy jeans ever fit without being tight somewhere. I should mention- we have been together for about 3 years and always talked about having kids (both wanting more than one). Here's what the science says. She’s 14 months old and I’m 25 weeks pregnant (did NOT think it was going to happen that fast) but we do like the idea that they’ll grow up so close in age now. If you're relying on the shower for getting your essentials, maybe have it a bit earlier, around 30 weeks. May 1, 2021 · At least I won't keep waiting for the chance to have a second. Mine are two years apart. We are debating a 3rd, but I’m undecided, leaning towards no, as primary caregiver if I can handle 2 ASD and 1NT. When they are young they need specifically your help to be fed, diapered, etc. Two issues : conceiving a baby without plans (seems odd for a well educated couple ) and taking over responsibility in the past that harmed one partner (and harmed both eventually). I mean, my first was like 18 hours but honestly I slept through a lot of it. Welcome to TwoXChromosomes, a subreddit for both serious and silly content, and intended for women's perspectives. Im 38F ( husband is also 38 )and we have a 4 year old. Most of the big stuff would have either been given away or expired (ie car seat) by then. Winter hooded footie fleece jumpsuit (October baby) Have: Bassinet + pack and play, pack and play sheets. We decided to have a second when we were talking about how much we loved having siblings. Reply. Then you get to the "You know where the kitchen is--get it yourself" phase. I'd say relatively speaking the second was as hard as the first. I am looking for experiences of women who’ve had babies after the age of 34. The genetic cause of your child's autism is really the only way to have a good idea of whether a second will be autistic. My friends had two boys 3 years apart and a shower for each. And “I will not only have one child in my life. We are healthy and financially stable, earning good money. Hearing the sound of your two kids laughing together is one of the best sounds in world. Personally I’d do more traveling for a few years, and then have a baby in your late twenties. In my circle of mums (those I'm friends and acquainted with) none regret having more children because they waited till they were ready. She remained in the hospital everyday due to pre-eclampsia, she was incredibly ill. Kids are 21 mos apart. When anyone asks me, i tell them - i have so much love and snuggles for a second child, but not the energy or finances or patience for it. I thought I read somewhere to make your sim eat strawberries and listen to pop music for a girl. We wanted a smaller gap but many things meant that wasnt to be. It also automatically turns male when you take over. The best time to have a baby is when you’re stable and it feels right for you, not a singular point in time. Yes, I think it is always tacky no matter how far apart your kids are. I’m an only child and personally chose to have a second. So we did, and they recommended an expander + braces, for 8-12 months of pain and restricted eating. So, in some ways your 2nd will be easier - more experienced, more patient, more comfortable as parents. I got a toddler bed as a hand me down just recently (3 months before my due date), so I've just moved my daughter into that, so we can turn the existing cot/bed back into a cot for the baby. Replacement nipples for bottles. Diapers, teething rings (they can get worn out), amazon gift cards, something for the toddler to do like crafts. Had my first at 37, second at 40. I love our child to death, but we had an awful time of it when he was a newborn. My wife has wanted a second child since she was pregnant with the first. Just remember the older she is, the harder pregnancy and birth are on her body. (My 3 yo costs $133/week for 3 days, my 1 yo costs $60/week for 2 days). I just got invited to my cousins shower for her second baby girl, about 3 years apart. Once the baby comes it's all baby all the time, we rarely get time to ourselves. After I gave birth, my breasts got larger (went up one or two cup sizes and a band size), my belly got smaller and pretty much went back to normal, but the cellulite stayed. May 24, 2018 · Here are the 13 things I wish someone had told me before I had a second baby. How easy/difficult was it to conceive, give birth, and be an “older” mom? I am almost 35 and as much I want to have kids, I don’t think I can even think about it For another couple of years at least. Rant/Vent. Infant bathtub. We have one other embryo that is frozen. But you need someone you can call to come in the middle of the night if she goes into labor. Their bond is incredibly strong, it just happened over time this time around. It's actually easier than you think. cl su yp bh tv kc jm ef ur ih